the universe is in us

Tuesdays are always a busy day in our household, and today was no exception.

Jack goes to a 'men's group' called The Dusty Shed. It's a men's over 50's group and they do practical things like woodworking, metalworking, electronics, burning fingers with solder, model making. He's been going for a couple of months and I know he really enjoys connecting with other men his age.

Lucy goes to a schizophrenia group, it's not a therapy thing but a 'self-help' group - sometimes they talk, sometimes they do social activities like bowling... note to self, this is changing to a Monday in May at a later time and a different location, you need to update the calendar.

I go to a bereavement group - it's nice to be able to talk to other people going through the same thing as you, to realise that what you're feeling is perfectly normal. It also helps to not feel like I'm offloading everything on Jack or Lucy. A bit like Lucy's group - it's everything from coffee and cake and someone to talk to, and sometimes we go walking or bowling.

I tried to continue yesterdays theme of saying positive things to people, and one of the younger girls in the group had cut her hair very short and dyed it a beautiful emerald green colour. I told her how nice it looked, how the cut really framed her face and she lit up - she actually started crying and hugged me, and of course, that made me cry.

We talked a lot about strengths and weaknesses, and I found it interesting how we could all really easily identify what we thought were our weaknesses but struggled with our strengths. I don't know how much of this is bereavement/depression vs social conditioning that, especially as a woman, we're told that we shouldn't be strong and celebrate ourselves. Fuck that. I'm organised, I'm efficient, I'm an analytical thinker and a creative problem solver. Jack just looked over my shoulder, read what I'm writing and says I'm a damn good kisser. I'm passionate, caring and easily excited.

I then spent the afternoon helping Jack finally set up the tablet I got him for Christmas - playing around in the app store, finding new things for him to play with. He's also updated his dreamwidth (jackjanderson) for the first time this year and is slowly working his way through his long-abandoned email account. He's got it down from something like 1100 to under 500. I'm hoping he's going to get back into blogging - not for me to read (though I do) but because I know he was enjoying connecting with people online. Like I said earlier, he's a social creature, my husband.

We're now all curled up on the couch - cats included - and watched some Doctor Who on Netflix. I'm pretty exhausted, mentally and emotionally, so I'm thinking I'm going to head to an early bed.

A week without complaining
This is going well. I am so pleased that I have been able to pull my head in, and focus on just getting on with stuff... and not complaining. What does it achieve? So far, so good - and I'm more than halfway through.

27 exams to go, then all I have to do is enter the grades onto the system. I was really hoping I'd be done today and have tomorrow as a down day but I'm admitting defeat. I'm going cross-eyed and can someone remind me what Kepler's laws of planetary motion are again?

I think my plan for tomorrow is to have a lie-in, partake in Sunday morning playtime then try and get finished in time to have relaxing time with Jack and Lucy.

They've been good to me this weekend though. Jack ordered me Chinese takeout, he's been making sure I take regular breaks and giving me shoulder rubs. Lucy insisted I take a nap with her this afternoon - and I'm just hoping it's not going to stop me from sleeping tonight.

Dreamwidth question: where can I get little smiley face clip-arts or something similar that I can add to my posts?

I forgot to mention, angelofthenorth is hosting a non-fandom friending meme at https://angelofthenorth.dreamwidth.org/2018/12/05/friending.html.
Please, come along and play and make even more new friends than you already have in the last couple of days :)

Lucy and I went to a 'legs, bums & tums' fitness class this morning, lots of lunges, step and squats. The instructor, also called Lucy, promised us our bodies would thank us for this workout. My body is not currently thanking me. My thighs, in fact, are protesting quite severely about it.

After all that vigorous exercise, we then had a much calmer afternoon. I made another batch of ( chocolate raspberry brownies ) (last week's went down very well and more were requested) and we needed to replace the calories we burned off!

We cuddled up on the couch with Jack, who has actually behaved all week and properly rested his back and knees, and ate them while they were still warm and gooey, playing Cards Against Humanity and Exploding Kittens until my sides hurt from laughing, before we watched some Buffy.

I've spent some time futzing around online. I've re-written my mini bio, I'm a little happier with it but it still needs tweaking some. I joined in a friending meme and actually managed to comment and friend people. I found some physics RSS feeds that I've added to my reading page and I've discovered a book that I want to read - What is Real?: The Unfinished Quest for the Meaning of Quantum Physics Hardcover – 31 May 2018
by Adam Becker... is it too late to ask Santa?

This evening has roast beef in store, as well as Doctor Who. Other than that, I'm thinking a soak in a hot bubble bath to ease my aching legs with my book (currently reading Just For Christmas by Scarlett Bailey) and some music, possibly followed by an early night.

I cannot find an autumn or Halloween theme I like for this journal and it's making me pretty grumpy, if I'm honest. I'm also grumpy because I was late to bed but then up in the right and awake ridiculously early with night sweats... took a shower to cool down and of course, was then wide awake. This perimenopause can do one! I've had a semi-productive morning, even if I can't find a theme. A couple of hours of cuddling the cats, reading, updating my goodreads, listening to music and futzing around online and discovering some new websites to explore.

Of course, just as Jack and Lucy are waking up, I'm ready to go back to bed for a few more hours sleep. I think we'll have breakfast and then see how I feel on the bed situation.