the universe is in us

Dear Dreamwidth, my name's Samantha and I am terrible at putting myself in another's shoes, at seeing things from another perspective. I always have been and suspect I always shall be. I'm a very stubborn woman and try as I might, it's not one of my strengths. For that, I apologise

One of my favourite, most-promising, students came to see me today to give me the sad news that she's dropping out and not continuing on into her second year. Not any of her courses, she's dropping out of university completely. I found this disappointing and surprising considering how bright, driven and enthusiastic I've found her when I've taught her this year.

Her reason for dropping out surprised me even more. She's getting married to her boyfriend and would rather stay at home, get pregnant, raise a family and keep home than continue with her studies. I have nothing against women who choose that path for their life. After all, my Lucy is a home-maker and she does thoroughly enjoy it. What I don't understand is why she feels she has to do it now.

She's just turned 20 and she's a third of a way through her BSc and I honestly can't fathom why she doesn't want to continue. She's told me she does enjoy her studies so I fail to see why she can't get married over the summer, then return to university in September and start her second year. She could start a family once she finished school in two years time. I'm genuinely disappointed for her but ultimately it's her decision. I hope she does return to the physics field later in her life.

I have to admit, part of me wants to tell her she's too young to get married and settled down, that she doesn't know what love is, that she hasn't met enough people to fully grasp her feelings, that she needs to live her life and find out who she is and what she wants.

But then I realise I'm starting to both sound not only old but like my father!

On a personal note, I can't fathom getting married that young. I think about the people I dated in my late teens/early twenties, who I dated in university. The people I thought I was in love with but when I look back, I can't imagine still being with them. I didn't know what love was, I thought I knew but then I met Jack. I didn't even meet Jack until I was 29 and it was another 7 years before we married but meeting him made me realise what love was - it wasn't about wanting him in my life, it's about not being able to imagine my life without him.