Rekindling
Jun. 26th, 2018 06:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quantumcupcakesI've been struggling a little recently, having some issues with jealousy which is not something I'm used to feeling. It's hard, sometimes, when I'm at work all day and knowing Jack and Lucy are together all day. I thought I'd got used to it but with all the upheaval lately it just seems to have exacerbated the sense.
I've talked it over with Jack and Lucy, made them aware of how I feel and we're going to take this summer to rekindle our relationships. My relationships with them. I'm going to start going to Yoga with Lucy on a Monday evening, then maybe we'll do something either before or after. When Lucy's at her therapy or at swimming, Jack and I are going to take the time to reconnect. Not just sexually but romantically. Take the time to spend time with each other. To have those... remember that giddy feeling after the first couple of awesome dates and you want to tell all your girlfriends about this amazing person you spent the evening with? I want that again.
I want that feeling with Jack. I want it with Lucy. I want it with them both. I want the three of us to spend time together as well, outside of the bedroom. To date again, to rekindle the relationship. To remember why we're together. To find that tummyflipping, knee-weakening passion.
Not a... stuck in a rut and insecure about myself
This will hopefully lead to me finding my confidence in us again. I love them, Jack and Lucy both. And I know they love me. I know they're not going to leave me, but when has jealousy ever followed rational thought patterns. I hate feeling this way but I feel so very lucky to have partners who understand how I'm feeling and aren't dismissing it, but instead are willing to put the time and effort into helping me.
I've talked it over with Jack and Lucy, made them aware of how I feel and we're going to take this summer to rekindle our relationships. My relationships with them. I'm going to start going to Yoga with Lucy on a Monday evening, then maybe we'll do something either before or after. When Lucy's at her therapy or at swimming, Jack and I are going to take the time to reconnect. Not just sexually but romantically. Take the time to spend time with each other. To have those... remember that giddy feeling after the first couple of awesome dates and you want to tell all your girlfriends about this amazing person you spent the evening with? I want that again.
I want that feeling with Jack. I want it with Lucy. I want it with them both. I want the three of us to spend time together as well, outside of the bedroom. To date again, to rekindle the relationship. To remember why we're together. To find that tummyflipping, knee-weakening passion.
Not a... stuck in a rut and insecure about myself
This will hopefully lead to me finding my confidence in us again. I love them, Jack and Lucy both. And I know they love me. I know they're not going to leave me, but when has jealousy ever followed rational thought patterns. I hate feeling this way but I feel so very lucky to have partners who understand how I'm feeling and aren't dismissing it, but instead are willing to put the time and effort into helping me.
no subject
Date: 2018-06-26 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-06-30 07:11 pm (UTC)Poly most definitely isn't easy, but it sounds like you have some great ideas to move forward with some better feelings.