A few of my favourite things

[quantumcupcakes]

Most friending memes or communities that I've come across seem to want you to list out your top fives, your favourites and that is not something I am particularly good at. I can either name nothing because you've put me on the spot and I've panicked, or you'll never shut me up because you've asked me to talk about things I love

I understand why it's a popular question. It's something people can bond over, there's that automatic 'oh, you like the same things as me', it's a starting point for conversation and it gives a common ground to start a friendship from.

I also wish I wasn't quite so 'shy' online. I'm not in real life, I'm a sociable woman who will chat away to anyone but the idea of commenting on peoples posts is somewhat nerve wracking. When it's just words, outside of academia, I lack confidence. I don't know how to properly convey myself, to express what I'm thinking and feeling. I rely as much on body language, tone, facial expression, gesture as I do words and not being able to use them.

I'm also somewhat unsure of how to introduce myself. My standard little profile blurb of

My name is Samantha and I’m a Welsh geek who loves to bake, especially cupcakes. I also have a passion for physics, engineering, mechanics, floral dresses, rugby, 80s pop music and science fiction

doesn't seem quite enough. It is a nutshell varient of me although it seems so much of what I think makes me is missing... but I'm not entirely sure what does constitute a proper introduction/profile, what information is pertinent or interesting and what I can say that makes me 'attractive' to other people.

Especially as I don't think of myself as a fandom person

This all makes the whole friending issue somewhat difficult.

Jack says I'm overthinking it. Lucy says I need to just be myself. Both of which are simultaneously true yet rather unhelpful.

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

Why don't you host a friending meme with the sort o of questions you want to answer...

[used_songs]

Honestly, I would much rather read someone's opinion or sample their journal than read a list of likes and dislikes. Maybe we should all have unlocked posts that we feel display our selves to the best effect and we could just direct each other there?

[cordjostler]

The profile adverts are tough. I mean, they would be tough even if I wasn't struggling with issues of personal identity.

While it surely helps to have things in common with folks you friend on here, I think the real meat of finding good blog friends is more about communication style and being able to invest a little in a strangers goings-on than commonalities.

This all seemed easier in 2000, but I guess I was a different person then, and the userbase of livejournal was quite a bit different than what this is now.

[zetetopia]

I feel the same way about lists of favorites, and can be quite shy online as well. I'm not sure why, because--just like you described here--offline I'm really not.

[silveradept]

It's difficult to capsule-summary yourself if you haven't been in a small number of fandoms (and for some fandoms, a small number of relationships or ideas) for all your existence. Because whichever ones you choose, someone else might pass you over because you didn't choose the one you share.

I have trouble with selling myself, too, on those lists. It can also be more difficult to find a good friend if their journal space is all access-locked, c you don't have shared comment spaces.

So, if you figure out a good way of summarizing, would you let me know, too? I've been looking for that for years.