I definitely admit to having a biased opinion on the subject. My relationship was strained for a long time and I was sick for a long time. My bf brought up being poly- but I knew it wasn't genuine, it was because he wanted to see other people. We talked about it a lot and I got him to back down and we stayed together- through more strain and hardship. Then he finally dumped me. The second I moved out and was gone he was already with a guy and two girls. I was just so gutted and insecure and felt worthless like absolute trash. It was so obvious he'd wanted me gone for a long time.
The concept just makes me very uncomfortable. I have such low self esteem and self worth that I don't ever believe someone will love me, so why would I think multiple people could? I would be chronically jealous and paranoid that my partner(s) would be fucking around behind my back. I just wouldn't be able to do it. It just makes me feel anxious and unsafe and feels wrong *for me*. I was just so afraid my bf would leave me it made me fearful of almost any relationships. It really is about how I feel about myself more than how I feel about poly people.
I need to keep a better open mind about the subject because I can't project all this negative shit onto perfectly innocent human beings. I'm sure as more time passes and my emotional wounds heal I'll be much less biased. I'll do my best to unwrap all the personal negative feelings and stop judging.
I'm definitely not judging you and I hope you never feel that way. I really am happy to hear your story- the three of you sound so cute :) I hope someday I'm well enough to be in a healthy relationship- whatever kind it may be! ♥
no subject
I definitely admit to having a biased opinion on the subject. My relationship was strained for a long time and I was sick for a long time. My bf brought up being poly- but I knew it wasn't genuine, it was because he wanted to see other people. We talked about it a lot and I got him to back down and we stayed together- through more strain and hardship. Then he finally dumped me. The second I moved out and was gone he was already with a guy and two girls. I was just so gutted and insecure and felt worthless like absolute trash. It was so obvious he'd wanted me gone for a long time.
The concept just makes me very uncomfortable. I have such low self esteem and self worth that I don't ever believe someone will love me, so why would I think multiple people could? I would be chronically jealous and paranoid that my partner(s) would be fucking around behind my back. I just wouldn't be able to do it. It just makes me feel anxious and unsafe and feels wrong *for me*. I was just so afraid my bf would leave me it made me fearful of almost any relationships. It really is about how I feel about myself more than how I feel about poly people.
I need to keep a better open mind about the subject because I can't project all this negative shit onto perfectly innocent human beings. I'm sure as more time passes and my emotional wounds heal I'll be much less biased. I'll do my best to unwrap all the personal negative feelings and stop judging.
I'm definitely not judging you and I hope you never feel that way. I really am happy to hear your story- the three of you sound so cute :) I hope someday I'm well enough to be in a healthy relationship- whatever kind it may be! ♥