quantumcupcakes: (Indeed)
I've never been one for nightmares or bad dreams. I've never even really remembered my dreams, I have fuzzy recollections in the morning but never anything vivid or memorable.

I went through a phase of fairly bad nightmares in my early teens after my mother died but I suppose that's to be expected, all things considered.

Last night though my sleep was haunted by nightmares. I can't recall anything specific other than a feeling of fear and panic, lots of running and being chased. I slept terribly because of it, and am feeling quite sluggish today.

My husband has been teasing me about it - says I'm not allowed to watch any more horror film. We went to see IT last night and I'm not completely convinced the film was to blame. Maybe it was and combined with the stress of the last couple of months.
IT was a bloody brilliant film though, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was delightfully creepy. I'm also left wondering if we have the book. I'm not even sure we have any Stephen King

Then again he was also awake with me at 4 am and cuddling me back to sleep. That was the only time I woke him up, thankfully. And he did let me sleep in this morning while he and our girlfriend went to the supermarket.

They've just got back and I'm enjoying a breakfast of peach slces and yoghurt, with a mug of coffee. It's making me start to feel a little more human, thank god.

Today we are working on turning one of the rooms into a 'library' of sorts. We've decorated it and got carpets in. Today will be mostly about putting up bookshelves and getting the books up. Monday the couch and chairs are due to be delivered.
quantumcupcakes: (Default)
We're about as packed as we're going to get. The moving vans are due to come at 9:30 tomorrow morning, they estimate to be packed by 11:30 and everything should arrive at the new house around 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. We're booked in to a hotel for tomorrow night then my brother, Jack's son and a couple of family friends are going to help us with the unpacking and rearranging.

I'm still on crutches so apparently my job will be sitting on the couch, directing and supervising.
Jack's overdone it with the packing, aggravated an old back injury (and he's trying to hide how much his knee's hurting him) so he's on light duty.
Lucy's taking things day by day, she's very unsettled and stressed which of course is having a negative effect on her schizophrenia. I'm worried she's going to lapse into a depressive episode.

I know it's only a small country but I still can't believe that we're packing up and literally moving to the opposite end of it. Even though we're living in boxes, it still doesn't feel real

Snapshots

Aug. 20th, 2017 02:08 pm
quantumcupcakes: (Default)
I always forget how exhausting healing from a non-minor (I'm hesitant to use major because complications aside it was only a broken leg) injury is - throw in an operation and a lack of general mobility and I'm stil tiring really easily. I also have to keep reminding myself that it's only been two months and that there's still a while to go.

I'm being a very lazy Samantha today. I'm stretched out on the couch with a blanket and a cat.
Lucy is upstairs working on a 'Stargate fanfic for an exchange community on Dreamwidth' (I have no idea what that means past Stargate fanfic and Dreamwidth.)
Jack is watching the Huddersfield vs Newcastle game, doing a crossword and talking about cottage pie. Ooh I hope that means that's what's for dinner.

Thank you for all the anniversary wishes. Jack & I had a lovely meal out last nice. We went to one of our favourite restaurants - and probably for the last time since we're moving four hours away next week. Jack had a rib-eye steak. I had a welsh lamb steak. Much fun was had with the other anniversary gifts although I don't think I need to share the details. I mean, I could if you wanted to know about them but that could be TMI.

I do, however, want to at some point write about the BDSM aspect of our relationship and our roles and how it all works because - much like polyamory - it's so very misunderstood. And nothing like Fifty Shades Of Grey. Ugh!

But that's not for today.

I'm now on the second disc of season 1 of CSI: Las Vegas. I really had forgotten how much I love the show, and the characters, and all the inventive ways the writers have for killing people and all the red herrings and twists. Dubious science and investigation aside, it's still very entertaining. And I still have such a thing for Gil Grissom. Having discovered fandom online it makes me feel a little less dorkish for having a crush on a fictional character - apparently this is the norm rather than being as bizarre as my husband thinks it is.

I'm not finding an episode-by-episode chronology for CSI like I have for the MCU, the DC-TV and for Star Trek but I did find this lovely little chart ) which tracks where each show spins off so I can try and watch the show in some semblance of order. Because I'm a good little geek like that!

Do any of you use either trakt.tv or letterboxd? I've just signed up for them and I have no friends on them either than Jack and Lucy. I'm quantumcupcakes on Trakt and samanderson on Letterboxd.
And while I'm on the subject of social media - if you've got Twitter, I'm AWelshGeek so feel free to add me there too
quantumcupcakes: (R2D2)
Today is my 13th wedding annivesary. 13 years ago I said, through tears and smiles, "I do" to my love [personal profile] jackjanderson. I first met him in 1997, we were introduced by a mutual friend, and he stole my heart with one smile. It wasn't love at first sight but it was definitely lust. It took 7 years to get to the wedding and I love him just as much, if not more, than I did all those years ago.
I'm such a soppy heart but... I do love him.

My presents to him, as I mentioned the other day were a pair of silver lace chantilly cufflinks, a pair of flashing shoelaces and a vibrating prostate massager.
Amusingly, he got me a beautiful necklace from the same collection - a silver lace chantilly pendant. And some lacy negligee.
Lucy got us these beautiful black lace candle holders, she got me a pair of silver and lace earrings, and Jack a pair of new workboots.
Jack's son has booked me and Jack a weekend-break away in Nottingham which is famous for its lace.

Early this evening Jack and I are going out for a meal where he has promised to wear a suit and his new cufflinks. Then later tonight I suspect much fun with new toys for the three of us.

It almost makes up not being able to get down to Cardiff this afternoon to see my Blue and Blacks play the Carmarthen Quins. Instead, because the DVD jumped out at me when we were packing them, we're curled up watching CSI: Las Vegas. All the way back to season one with my love for Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle. It's pretty dated now but still very enjoyable. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon at all.

Ouch

Aug. 18th, 2017 06:14 pm
quantumcupcakes: (Cats & Books)
Dear Physiotherapist,

There is only one sadist who enjoys making people cry in my life - and that evil bitch is me!

Whilst I appreciate your tough love approach, the 'no pain, no gain' aspect of this regime is not one that I am a fan of.

I would suggest you inflict the pain on my husband since he enjoys that but... he's mine and that's my job.

As I have been informed that inflicting any form of violence upon you would be frowned on, I shall instead take it out on both Jack and Lucy's asses. At least that way some fun will had from the doling out of pain.

Regards,
Samantha

Hurrah!

Aug. 9th, 2017 07:26 pm
quantumcupcakes: (Cupcake)
Today is a wonderful, fabulous, amazing, brilliant, utterly wonderful day. Today... Today the cast came off my leg!

The surgeon said everything has healed nicely and is 'looking good'. I'm not sure we're looking at the same limb - it looks pale, scaly, scarred, hairy and withered. This afternoon there was a bubble bath, veet and ALL the moisturiser in Wales.

I've still got to use the crutches and physiotherapy starts on Monday. But for now, I'm focusing on THE CAST IS OFF
quantumcupcakes: (The Moon)
In Search of Schrödinger's Cat: Quantum Physics and Reality by John Gribbin

Synopsis Quantum theory is so shocking that Einstein could not bring himself to accept it. It is so important that it provides the fundamental underpinning of all modern sciences. Without it, we'd have no computers, no science of molecular biology, no understanding of DNA, no genetic engineering.

In Search of Schrodinger's Cat tells the complete story of quantum mechanics, a truth stranger than any fiction. John Gribbin takes us step by step into an even more bizarre and fascinating place, requiring only that we approach it with an open mind. He introduces the scientists who developed quantum theory. He investigates the atom, radiation, time travel, the birth of the universe, super conductors and life itself. And in a world full of its own delights, mysteries and surprises, he searches for Schrodinger's Cat - a search for quantum reality - as he brings every reader to a clear understanding of the most important area of scientific study today - quantum physics.

In Search of Schrodinger's Cat is a fascinating and delightful introduction to the strange world of the quantum - an essential element in understanding today's world.

My rating: 4/5
Filed under: non-fiction, physics, quantum mechanics, science

John Gribbin has created an excellent book for anyone vaguely curious about Physics and moreover Quantum Mechanics.

It accurately and succinctly introduces the reader to the alien world of the very small, the world of particle physics and it's associated theory area, Quantum Mechanics. The book details the history of this study area in enough detail to satisfy those with some prior knowledge and yet will also keep the reader that is perhaps new to the Scientific arena interested throughout. Although clearly not a fictional work the "plot" follows the illuminate of Mathematics and Physics who, in the early part of this century, laid the ground work for a hugely productive area of science. It neatly explores sub-plots that highlight supporting narrative about the key figures, the mathematics they used, the air of discovery, political diversions and war across the Lab Benches as classical physics, led by Einstein, sort to push the Quantum lobby to the very limit of absolute understanding.

There are equations and experimental examples but not enough to disrupt a thoroughly good read for people without prior mathematical experience. Perhaps not quite enough for those that crave the quadratic or the matrix mechanic?

A great way to open a fascinating new way of viewing the universe(s)..!
quantumcupcakes: (Indeed)
Since I mentioned not knowing the difference between geek and nerd in my last post, I decided to what every self-respecting girl would do. I did a little research.

First things first we have dictionary definitions:
geek: a person who has excessive enthusiasm for and some expertise about a specialized subject or activity
nerd: an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit

So it would seem that the main different there would be intelligence and enthusiasm but otherwise the definitions seem pretty similar.

A few google searches later and from what I'm understanding, a nerd is industrious, intelligent, understands thing and a geek Interested in things that others are not interested in, know a lot about their interests, but usually do not understand underlying principles. If we were to take, for example, Star Trek, the basic idea is that a geek knows everything about the show, but a nerd understands the science behind it.

I'm also seeing a lot of references that nerds are more academic, are concerned with maths and/or science.

There's a lot about geeks being the ones who go to conventions, who will wear t-shirts etc with designs pertining to their fandom/s. Nerds, on the other hand, are seen as introverted and socially awkward.

Basically, if my understanding is correct, both Jack and myself are geeks and nerds, whereas Lucy is 'only' a geek.

I'm definitely on the nerd side of things with the maths and the science and like understanding how things work and am fascinated by, for example, how science fiction technology in a show like Star Trek inspired real life technology. But I've got a lot of geek in me for my love of science fiction and I do get very hyper-enthusiastic about things and will talk your ear off if I get excited about something.

Lucy is definitely a geek. She doesn't get into the nitty gritty under the bonnet of the things she loves but when she obsesses, she will know everything about her current love. She happily obsesses and really doesn't care what anyone else thinks. She's got the collectors set, joined the forum, wears the t-shirt, can wax lyrically and poeticaly and generally has fun wiht her interests.

My husband will happily claim the label geek and will tell you he was a geek before it was cool. But don't let his never ending supply of graphic t-shirts fool you - there's a whole lot of nerd inside of him. The man has an MSc in Aeronautical Engineering and was a RAF mechanic. He's also an astronomy nerd and understands a lot more physics than he lets on.

I'm also pretty sure that wanting to understand the difference between geeks and nerds puts me firmly in the nerd category!
quantumcupcakes: (Wonder Woman)
I think I was always destined to be a geek. Or a nerd. Possibly both - I'm never entirely sure what the difference between geek and nerd is. I should probably look that up.

I was never the child that asked 'why' - that was my brother. I always wanted to know how. How does this work, how does that work, how does x make y. I was the child that took everything apart to see what it was made of, to see how it worked. Sometimes I even put them back together again - and sometimes things even worked after I'd finished. I was always fascinated by space and wanted to be an astronaut.

But I always liked science, and maths, and wanted to know how things worked, I read comics, and I enjoyed watching Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Outer Limits, The Twilight Zone - that kind of thing.

Can you tell I was never the cool kid at school?

Yeah, I was the nerd but because my brother was one of the cool kids - and a footballer - luckily, I didn't get picked on. One guy tried and Mark broke his damn arm. Got expelled for a week but yeah, everyone left dorky little Sam alone.

Unless they wanted help with their science or maths.. and then I became really popular.

I kind of loved that, tutoring other kids, helping with their homework. I never did it for them but I would sit and try to help. I loved that moment when I explained something to someone and you could see the understanding dawn in their eyes. THAT is one of the reason why I became a teacher.
quantumcupcakes: (Boots & Cats)
One of my current favourite things is Spotify. Specifically the pre-programmed playlists which make listening so much easier. A nice 50 track playlist that I can put on for a few hours and get on with whatever it is I may be doing. Right now, that would be posting and reading on DW.

I'm a fan of 80s pop music. I was in my late teens/early 20s during the decade and it really influenced me, it definitely formed the soundtrack to my formative years. My favourite artists include Prince, George Michael, Madonna, Culture Club, Cyndi Lauper, Michael Jackson, Phil Collins, Queen, Spandau Ballet and Elton John.

Spotify UK has an absolutely wonderful playlist that I am completely in love with All Gold 80s. All gold, all day - unforgettable 80s hits It's a 100 track playlist lasting 6hr 49min. It includes Fleetwood Mac, Eurythmics, Dexy's Midnight Runners, Toto, Paul Simon, The Buggles, a-ha, Whitney Houston, Bryan Adams, Tears For Fears... I am in heaven1




1 My leg is aching, my butt is getting numb, I'm putting weight on, I'm bored, I'm hungry, I'm home alone , I'm horny and I'm fed up. But at least the music is good...
quantumcupcakes: (Boots & Cats)
The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest for the Ultimate Theory by Brian Greene

Synopsis Brian Greene, one of the world's leading string theorists, peels away layers of mystery to reveal a universe that consists of eleven dimensions, where the fabric of space tears and repairs itself, and all matter—from the smallest quarks to the most gargantuan supernovas—is generated by the vibrations of microscopically tiny loops of energy. The Elegant Universe makes some of the most sophisticated concepts ever contemplated accessible and thoroughly entertaining, bringing us closer than ever to understanding how the universe works.

My rating: 4/5
Filed under: astronomy, cosmology, non-fiction, physics

Explaining superstring theory to the lay reader is a massive task. Not only does Greene achieve this task with amazing clarity and vision he takes the reader through an introduction to quantum theory and general relativity (as well as some of their extensions) on the way.

This has to be one of the best written science books of recent years. I hasten not to add the word "popular" in case would-be readers imagine that this is a book for beginners, which it is not. If you have a scientific background you will find this book both accessible and exciting.

On the downside Greene explains superstring theory as if it has to be the Grail of the quest for a Grand Unified Theory. He could have done a lot more to explain that superstrings are not necessarily the only route to such a theory and that there are other interesting and elegant theories, too. But then Greene himself is a major player in superstring theory and one who has made significant contributions to the field. Superstrings are a theoretical concept which far from being proven, add a great deal of complexity without producing too much in the way of experimental evidence to support the model. But - and this is a big but - they do offer at least one unifying theory. Whether or not it is the only (or perhaps most elegant) approach capable of achieving that goal time alone will tell.

Definitely recommended for readers with some background.
quantumcupcakes: (Cupcake)
Polyamory seems to be one of those topics that a lot of people have many preconceived notions about - a lot of which are completely wrong. You will probably already be forming an image in your mind of what my life is like based on the fact that I'm not monogamous.

I can tell you now that I am not having group sex or mad orgies.
My life does not revolve around sex - yes, I enjoy it and have a high sex drive but that is not related to polyamory.
I'm not cheating on anyone or sleeping around behind anyone's back.
I don't have sex with everyone I meet.
I don't have an open relationship.
I'm not a swinger or into partner swapping
are there poly relationships like this? Yes, of course - and many many many more variations as well.

I have been married to my husband, Jack, for almost 13 years and we've been together for 18. We have a girlfriend, Lucy, and she's been with us for 8 years. So you can forget any notion that I have commitment issues. There was nothing missing in our relationship before Lucy joined us, never a sense of incompleteness; Lucy added an extra dynamic, an extra layer that we didn't know was even possible.

Jack and Lucy were engaged in a BDSM relationship for a few months - a non-sexual relationship at that. That's a whole other dynamic to our relationship that isn't pertinent to poly and can be discussed at another point. We had a few threesomes during that time and I also watched them play. I still remember the day Jack sat down with me, serious face on and said "You've got something on your mind, it's about Lucy and if I know you, I know what you're thinking so just come out and tell me so I can tell you you're right." And I told him I thought I was falling for her. And he was too. We sat down with Lucy and talked about things and started dating. A few months later she moved in with us.

I am in a closed, poly, triad. There has never been any talk of bringing a fourth person in, or of any of us having a relationship with another person outside of our group.

If there's anything you want to have clarification on or are simply just curious - please ask me and the chances are I will answer.

But, really, the main thing is that we're no different than any straight, monogamous couple - it's just that there's three of us, rather than two. The one thing I can tell you is that I love both of them fiercely and cannot imagine my life without either of them in it

Love

Jul. 31st, 2017 09:35 pm
quantumcupcakes: (Polyamory)
I opened up this post an entry page to write a thoughtful entry about polyamory and my experiences of it vs people's misconceptions. Something similar to my post about my bisexuality. I got as far as writing "I am polyamorous" but that was a couple of hours ago and apparently before I was able to get any further I fell asleep.

I've woken up to find myself stretched out along the couch, my head in Jack's lap and two cats asleep on me. Jack is grumbling about the crossword he's doing and playing with my hair. The dog's asleep on his feet. Lucy is curled up in the armchair watching videos on youtube.

I do still intend to write that post but not right now because I'm about to head to bed. I just wanted to share our current scene of domestic bliss because it makes me so happy. I am an incredibly lucky woman to have Jack & Lucy in my life and I love them both so much.
quantumcupcakes: (The Moon)
Today I have mostly been indulging in cuddling with the cats and my favourite humans. I also had sex for the first time in about a month and god was it good. I've just not been feeling in the mood because of pain, side-effects of painkillers, exhaustion and frustration.

I want this damn cast off my leg. It's been a month and I'm tired of it. It itches and aches and it's cumbersome. I had an orthopedics appointment yesterday and I'm healing 'nicely', whatever that means - both the bone and the operation site. I'm blanking on the medical term. I've still got at least another month before he looks at taking the cast off though. I'm getting more stable on crutches, less worried about falling over, taking less painkillers so while I am frustrated, things are all moving in the right direction which is always good to know.

So yes, cuddling, kissing and shagging - a wonderful way to spend a chilly, rainy, Welsh summer morning. I have discovered the joys of youtube, and have been enjoying watching Prince, Michael Jackson, Madonna & Queen videos.

As well as 80s pop music, I've been watching trailers for some upcoming movies that I was already eagerly anticipating. If I wasn't already excited for Justice League or Thor: Ragnarok, I am now beside myself. They both look like so much fun, don't they?

It's also worth noting on a purely shallow note, that both Jason Momoa and Chris Hemsworth are both deliciously strappin young men who I would not kick out of bed for eating crackers! (Sorry, Jack!)

It's now time to move to the couch where there is a chicken salad waiting for me for my lunch and continue watching some Harry Potter. Lucy and I have been rewatching the movies this week, and we're about to start The Order Of The Phoenix. A nice, comfortable, enjoyable Thursday afternoon.
quantumcupcakes: (BDSM)
Apparently when I was a teenager, everyone thought I was going to be/gay.

I was unaware of this. I found out yesterday when my brother told me. He came over to help with packing and we endedup going through albums of old photos of the two us when we were children. I was such a tomboy; you would have thought our parents had twin boys, not opposite-sex twins. I had the same haircut as Mark, we dressed the same way.

You could also tell the moment in the pictures that puberty hit and it was like I overnight became a girl. I grew my hair and had it permed, and hairsprayed half to death. Arms covered in jelly bracelets. acid wash denim shorts or skirt over leggings or fishnets. Oversize neon sweaters off the shoulder. Big poufy flouncy dresses. If Madonna wore it, I wore it!
(That's not the subject of this post though I may have to write about it anothe day)

That's not the reason they thought I was gay, though. I was a nerd in school. I liked science and maths and engineering. I was in the chess club. My dad thought this all meant I was 'one of those homosexuals' and he was more worried about that than he was bringing up a girl on his own (My mum sadly passed away in 1980). He knew women, he knew girls; he didn't know a single gay person.

I was about 14 the first time I had sexual feeling for a girl. It was in the changing rooms after a PE lesson and her name was Pamela. I remember we were all in various stages of puberty, lots of budding breasts and so on, but this girl was... shapely. She had this amazing pear shape and full breasts and, well, let's just say if I was a boy I would have popped a boner.
I shared 3 subjects with her for something like 3 years but I could barely manage to speak to her because I was overcome with shyness caused by hormones!

At the same time though, I had a huge crush on David - he ran the chess club. He liked Star Trek and Doctor Who, he was my main competition for top of the class in maths and science and we had a friendy rivalry all through school. He was this short, skinny boy who did long distance running. We started dating when we were 15, stayed together for maybe 3 years until we both moved away to different universities.

University was when I had my first relationship with a woman, so we're talking late 1980s. Gay was something men were, they got AIDS and they died, and they all looked either like Freddie Mercury or the guys in Right Said Fre. Lisa, this girl's name was, and she was in some of the sames maths classes as me. Took me completely by surprise when she kissed me in the library in the middle of a study session and taught me women could be gay too. Taught me lots of things. We went pretty steady for about 2 years but then she finished university and moved home. I stayed on to do my Masters and we just... drifted apart

I dated a few guys, but never seriously. I was always far more focussed on school, science, on work and it always quickly became obvious I wasn't the 'wife' they were looking for. I didn't know how to meet women and the women I did, were intimidated by me. I wasn't a typical lesbian. I wasn't what they were looking for.

By my late 20s, I'd pretty much resigned myself to spinsterhood. At least I liked cats.

Then, in 1997, I met a guy called Jack. We were introduced by a mutual friend and to say there were fireworks would be an understatement. There was sex against a wall in the back alley behind a club... and I married him seven years later. That was almost 13 years ago and we're still happily married - I can be quite certain in calling him the love of my life. Lucy, our girlfriend of 8 years, comes in a close second in that regard.

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quantumcupcakes: (Default)
Samantha

All about ME!

My name is Samantha and I’m a Welsh geek who loves to bake, especially cupcakes. I also have a passion for physics, engineering, mechanics, floral dresses, rugby, 80s pop music and science fiction

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